Is it normal to constantly question our relationship?
I wonder if he loves me? I wonder if he is with someone right now? Does he really sleep all the time he says he is? These questions continue with not being able to understand whether I love him or not, not being sure about his own feelings and finally, how can you be sure about a person?
Being in a relationship doesn’t always mean we have to be stable. Also, this may be a bit biased, but it’s very, very difficult to be in a relationship where you feel 100% confident in the world of 2022. Constantly questioning the relationship, not trusting your partner, not knowing where the relationship is going… Welcome to 2022 🙂
Social media and insecurity
We are in the age of social media, finding someone for a lover or anything else is not as difficult as it used to be. We have to accept that, with a little effort, you may not find your prince charming, but you can find a partner that you can love and that will be enough for you. When I listen to people questioning their relationships, this exact reason is taken into consideration. Because what is valid for me is also valid for my partner. If I can instantly find someone for myself on social media, my partner can find someone in the same way.
First of all, I want to touch on “I don’t trust my partner, I’m questioning my relationship, where is my relationship going” questions like this and social media relationships. As I mentioned, it has never been easier to slap someone, like someone, or send a message. Let’s go back a little further; they used to send each other letters and it took a long time for this letter to reach their homes, but you can slap anyone you want in two and a half seconds (and people you don’t want can also slap your partner)
Questioning the relationship and not being sure about my feelings
Why am I questioning my relationship? I can’t be sure about my feelings, what should I do? At that point, there is actually a little bit of insecurity. Yes, a little bit of insecurity due to social media or other reasons is healthy. If you don’t trust 100%, there is no problem. What matters is whether it affects your relationship. If your relationship doesn’t affect you, you can do without trusting 100%. However, if insecurity lies beneath your questioning your relationship, this may be a signal your mind is giving you. You should not trust the other person because the other person may cheat on you, hurt you, leave you, or humiliate you. In fact, many times our past dramas lie beneath these questions.
It may not be our partner we are questioning or making us uncomfortable with, but our past experiences.
If you are questioning your relationship, you need to question yourself a little first. Have you asked yourself the same questions before? Is this the first relationship you are questioning?
Is it your partner, men or women you don’t trust? It could be people too. One of the things I see most often is individualization. In fact, while we don’t trust women; we raise ourselves as if we don’t trust our partners. However, if there is distrust, it will be very difficult for the relationship to progress. Be honest, can trust be talked about in a relationship you are questioning?
Questioning the relationship and what you can do
Who do you question your relationship with? Do you question yourself or with your partner? If you question yourself, what are the answers you give yourself? What do you say? How do you feel after questioning?
Stop torturing yourself by questioning. Yes, it is now possible with psychotherapy.
I have never actually offered my clients to stop questioning, and I am not offering it to you either.
There are two things we will learn;
1. Healthy questioning
2. To ensure that the interrogations do not harm us and our relationship.
Of course, if necessary, we will delve into your childhood during this process. Take the first step now. You are safe…
You can take the first step to strengthen your relationship in Cihangir and anywhere there is internet access, and call my office for more information and to make an appointment.